Conversation: A Medium of Verbal Exchange

You know how sometimes you have to force words to come out of your mouth to make a conversation work? Remember all those moments where you had to pull a topic out of the air in order to make things seem less awkward? Hate those times, right?

Now with that visual in mind, think about the exact opposite: You know when things just flow and you don't need to worry about making something up on the spot? The conversation becomes spontaneous, interesting, and full of flare. Don't you freaking LOVE that?

I've heard of a lot of situations that lie in the first category lately: My girls have told me about how they are just plain frustrated at the whole dating thing. On one hand, they'll tell me that they meet a dude that is as good-looking as they come, but can't carry a conversation to save his life (unless it revolves around him). On the other hand, they'll go out with a guy that is fun and smart and with whom there is an unforced flow of jokes, stories, and compliments, but there is no physical attraction going on.  Despair and annoyance are two very common emotions that run through girls' minds (and I'm sure with guys as well) when they think of the large, black-lettered word of "DATING."

But if there's one thing I know from my many dating failures and mistakes (as well as my mini successes along the way), I know that you can find someone that is exactly what you want if you wait for it. Yes, the waiting is the worst part, but once you find it, it's going to be incredible. Dating becomes fun at that point. I'm not even talking about the whole marriage thing- I am simply talking about the dating process itself. It's typically tedious and exhausting, but finding someone with whom you just click is the initial goal. Finding someone who you can talk to without hesitations or too much effort is the first sign of a good thing.

Sometimes I think that people look at the big picture way too much. Yes, the end goal is marriage, but if you constantly have your eyes set that far ahead, sometimes you miss out on the initial joys of life, you know? What about the now? Living in the present? That's OK- in fact, it's what you're supposed to do. In fact, my philosophy on marriage and love is this: you don't just find true love. It doesn't just wait for you to pass by it to jump out and say "Here I am!!!!" You find someone you are attracted to and who you can also look forward to talking to all the time. You realize that your compatibility is there and you want to spend a lot of time together. Finally, you spend that time together, realize that this could work in the long run, and then you choose to spend the rest of your life with that person because of all those factors. Love isn't real until you create it through personal experiences with someone. It won't just be there the vast majority of the time. Take time to build it if you want to find it.

It's like Clint Black told me long ago, "Love isn't something that we have: It's something that we do." That's how it is folks. You've got to put forth effort and offer your own contribution before you find that golden word.

So this is what it's all summing up to here, though it seems that I've strayed a bit. There are filters in dating, and one of the first ones is deciding if you can communicate with someone, Without communication and verbal exchange, relationships absolutely don't work. That's such a critical part of the whole game. So if you're struggling to find someone and want my advice, go find someone you can talk to without a huge amount of effort. There are people out there that fit that description for you. Also, be the type of person that one can talk to in the same way. Be outgoing! Take risks. It's scary, but it's necessary, and it mixes it up for you (especially those who feel like they've been at the game for much longer than they thought they would be) and makes it fun!