A Thought :)

‎"The best way to stay grounded on your path is to express gratitude and thankfulness each day of your journey."


-Kevin Hall


What a great quote to start my day! It's true that sometimes we lose our footwork and start slipping. But the fantastic thing is that there are simple remedies to our most complex problems. Expressing thanks for the many, many blessings that we have is a source of strength; it leads to great things and even greater growth. The most mature person is the one that finds something to be thankful for in every situation. It doesn't matter if it's a situation one would normally feel victimized by a situation or if it's one that makes one feel like a million bucks
(in an optimal economy... :P ). Reaping some type of benefit and seeing the light of every situation is what shows people you're ready for even greater, tougher climbs!


Progression is the key to happiness, and how can one progress without the help of God? He is the one that grants that movement; He is the one that wants that to occur in our lives in the first place!!! How does he know we're ready for more blessings and therefore more responsibility? Understanding what we currently have is the answer to that question.


Let's all be grateful!!!!! :D


Just a thought for the day :) So I'll start... eh hem... I'm grateful for... my math final because... I feel smart getting even a few answers right!!!! Haha ok ok ok- you try now! The sky is the limit ;)

Come Lonestar- We Dance! :)

Good afternoon to ya'll!!! I just thought that I would take a little break from all this studying and write a little about today and how awesome it is :)

Just a really cool, inspirational picture I found :)

I've done... well... pretty much nothing but studying today (and being awoken by a pleasant voice :) ) But it's been a good one- I've gotten a lot of accounting stuff done, and I got past one final. Yay!!!! Macroeconomics is officially done!!! And I didn't think I did too bad on the final despite the confusion of it being today rather than Wednesday (good think I woke up in time!!! ;) ). Does my brain hurt a little bit? Uh huh... totally. I feel brain-squished. But it's all good!!! All this studying is going to pay off!!!!!

Besides the fact that business cycles, inverse relations, contribution ratios, and production units are swirling through my head right now, I've still had a sliver of brain power left to think about normal stuff, namely how happy I am. I was a little tiffed today when I had to rush over to my Macro test an HOUR after it had started in an attempt to complete it in time, but after I left, I realized that I had done the best I could with the information I had been given, and worrying doesn't help you after all you can do.

That started getting me thinking about God and His plan. You know, there are times where you just don't feel like you measure up in any way. You feel like you are falling short in every task, and you want to just give it up and throw in the towel. But God is so great- he really wants you to succeed, and he knows the intent of your heart better than you do yourself. Because he is such a loving father, he reminds us that we need to try our best to work through our trials and our hardships as well as succeed in taking advantage of all of the really good things in life as well (not be lazy in those times). After we've done that to the best of our abilities, he's proud of us and makes up for the difference that, despite how hard we try, is always going to be there.

We are hard on ourselves for sure- I think that's why they say that it's likely we'll be helping in the judgement process in the end. But it's important to note that we are striving for perfection in this life; we aren't expected to reach it here- it's not possible. It's about the progression and the principle. God is NOT going to be there with a ball and chain and a tally mark of all your sins- that's not His nature. He loves us all and is up there looking down with the intent to inspire us to do great things. He knows that because of the veil between us and Him that not all things are going to be clear enough to us to be perfect in every way. In fact, if we were perfect, it would completely demote the importance of this life. It would become meaningless, because to be perfect is to know all things.

Think of how many lessons we learn from mistakes and failures!!! Now, I'm not saying to actively seek to screw up, but it's inevitable; we are all going to mess up. But even when it happens, it's what we gain from it that defines the experience and its role in our lives. Don't forget it!

Loving these days! Learning lots and finding a lot of happiness lately ;)

A Most Wonderful Gift This Easter: Understanding

What a great weekend!!!! I got to help out Steve and his wife by doing some moving/cleaning yesterday, and I officially love my roomies and our adopted hobo ;) It's been super fun- hanging out in the HUGE new apt, chillin' in multiple hot tubs- ya know- the good stuff! :) I love it- summer is going to be absolutely fantastic.

On a different note, church today was absolutely wonderful. I realized that it was Easter this morning once the lesson was being given on the sacred nature of Christ's atonement and what it means in our lives. It's a common story and even more common a lesson, but something new hit me today- something I can't really explain. A new sense of humility and honor was what I reaped from it. 

We listened to part of a talk by my FAVORITE cousin, Elder Holland. I was moved by the thought of Christ being entirely forsaken by not only his apostles and dearest friends, but his Father as well. God himself removed his hand from Christ's life to teach Him the lesson of loneliness. What an empty and despairing place to be for one so elite and righteous! I cannot even imagine. I thought of what that could feel like, for it was clearly a sorrow and pain so above and beyond anything I could possibly experience. The only thing I could possibly compare it to was a sweet little animal, trying so hard to please its master and do everything to gain his favor and suddenly being abandoned in a desert as it watched it watches its beloved owner drive away without looking back. Can you imagine? Christ- the best of us all- was left completely and utterly alone with no assistance from any venue. None. Even He asked His father at that moment, "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" For Christ to ask a question like that, one who never thought of Himself or His own will, He had to be completely lost and empty.

So when it comes time for us to be in that lonely state, who do you think would know how that was? Who else could ever relate to our own sufferings. Christ understands the depth of our loss and suffering. No one else does. No one else can. 

Jesus Christ is truly the best friend I could have. He has saved me in the long-run, but he has also saved me in the many short-run experiences in my life. When I have felt used and harmed, injured and weak, Christ has knelt down next to me in the sand and lifted me into His arms. 

I can look back on my life journey and see where I've walked; in some places, I see two sets of footprints. Those times were happy times where I felt safe, calm, and loved, conversing openly with my Savior and learning in a content, balanced fashion.

I see other places where both footprints have stopped, but one set is replaced by handprints. Those were the times where I was spent; my sorrows and trials overcame me to the point of falling to my lowest place. 

Then suddenly, only one set of footprints continues. At the time when those footprints were formed, I thought I was alone and without guidance. I felt like the World was cruel and had taken everything from me. But as I look back at those memorable impressions in the sand, I realize that the prints are not my own, but those of the Savior. But where was I? Had he left behind when I fell? If so, I couldn't be looking backwards, could I? No- at those times, my Jesus had carried me until I could again stand on my own.

What a wonderful blessing! The atonement has saved us all from what we deserve. Instead, the Lord gives us a chance to get the best in life and the eternities. Happy Easter everyone!!! Get past the commercial meaning of this holiday and remember what a sweet future that we each have thanks to our brother and friend.

(This song by Leona Lewis is seriously one of my favorites, and it always reminds me of Christ and the way he walks with us all :) )

False Association

Can I just say that today is a beautiful day????? It IS!!!

Good morning America, my apartment is slowly coming to a clean (get it?? Teehee... I'm so witty :P)!!! I'm on a break right now, so I thought I would write a little to relax. It's kind of funny how...cleaning really reflects who I am as a person. I know you guys think I'm crazy when I say that, but it's true!!! Here's what I've learned:

#1- It doesn't matter the size of the task- I can get it done within the tiniest time frame if I set my mind to it.

#2- When I'm working on a project, I'd rather work alone on it. I'm not really an antisocial person, but when I want to get something done, I want it done MY way, and other people get in the way.

#3- I really enjoy doing stuff for other people: Jiji really wanted to go to Yellowstone with her lover, so I offered to move all of her stuff for her AND do her cleaning check. The thing is, I'm actually really enjoying myself all the while!

#4- There is no best music for me to listen to when I clean. I have a really varied mix going on right now: Hard rock, Country, Acoustic, Rap, Instrumental, Pop, Soundtrack. It's all there! I think the chaos helps me focus oddly enough...

Whew!!! There's still a lot to do, but I feel like I'm slowly making my way to finished :) And lookie there!!! I'm having some good fun all the while.

I shall digress a bit now. All this lonely cleaning helps me focus on my thoughts since the process requires little to no brain power haha. The thing on my mind has been the human practice of  false association.

You know how sometimes you'll say something and it wasn't intended in a certain way or towards somebody and suddenly someone is feeling like it was? I feel like that happens a lot. Why does misinterpretation and false association happen? My opinion on this matter is that it's caused by an inner/subconscious idea that the supposed subject has beforehand. In other words, I think people feel like everything is directed at them because they happen to be feeling something similar or along the same lines as what was expressed by another person. Because of the coincidence, they assume that, since there was no WAY that someone else would coincidentally be thinking/feeling the same thing, they obviously meant it towards them and meant something more significant than actually intended.

So I'll give an example- a vague one because I don't want to injure anyone by saying it. The other day, I was talking about something with a group of people, and I said something about an experience that I had a little bit ago concerning some people I had seen do something. I mentioned that I thought that the way that those people had acted was ridiculous. Someone in that group of people I was talking to had thought that I was talking about something specific to her/him but in a subtle way by applying the concept to another group of people. In reality, I was actually talking about those people and their situation, but apparently  she/he thought that I was just trying to send her/him a hint through my example. Turns out, she/he is currently struggling through a situation that is sort of similar to what I was talking about (I didn't know), so the idea was already there. She/he assumed that he was the subject of my conversation.

I like to think of a phrase commonly used in business, statistics, and science. That saying is, "Correlation does not imply Causation." In other words, just because something happens to be somehow associated to a subject, it does not necessarily make them directly associated to the subject.

Let us remember to take a few steps back and think about the whole picture rather than limiting our perspective to the small window of time or small moment in which it is experienced. Let us not be so quick to judge. As said in Matthew 7...,

"Judge not, that ye be not judged;  for with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured unto you again."

We'll all be a little happier if we assume the world and all it's inhabitants aren't our to get us! Let's give more people the benefit of the doubt; let's believe in the best of people. Finally, let's all work a little harder to sort out the facts before we judge a situation and the intent behind it :)

My Life Lesson: Change

Hello everyone! Sorry it has been a few days- busy busy busy. Finals are creepin', and I've been somehow fitting studying and playing in together. However, that has also means no blogging... no sleeping... no... OK- I've eaten burritos with Josiah, Shawn, and Jessica haha, but that's about it.

But today, I really wanted to lay out my thoughts. I've been thinking about change. What a scary word, right? But it's often an exciting or exhilarating word too- I mean, change means... moving away from the norm: YOUR norm. For someone like me, going against the grain is what makes me who I am. I don't like to conform, and I love watching some poor sucker's face as I alarm them with my unexpected behaviors.

I've been packing up my room the whole morning (aside from giving my accounting presentation this morning), and I'm going off to most likely get my new car tomorrow. In addition, I've undergone some personal changes in my life lately that have totally transformed me. All of these things combined have gotten me thinking about who I am as a person and how I take change; I've decided that I take it fairly well on the outside, but inwardly, I am scared to death of it. Funny thing is, despite my extreme fear of life alterations, I chase them.

Maybe some of you are similar. I'll give an example. I am not super afraid of a lot of things, but one thing that always makes me quite anxious is heights. When I get somewhere with a big drop, my stomach ends up at the bottom and leaves me at the top. Yet what is my favorite sport of all time? Rock climbing. I LOVE rock climbing. Why? Because of the adrenaline rush- it pushes me upwards even though my life is flashing before my eyes and I'm secretly trying to repent of all of my sins as I reach for the next handhold. That's totally it. That's exactly how I am in life too. I'm spontaneous; impulsive; outwardly fearless. Change and the prospect of it entering my life terrifies me as well as inspires and compels me to act.

What does that mean?  It means people that try to get me to conform get the shaft from me. It also means that individuals that try to keep me in the old and keep me from whatever it is I'm chasing (whether or not it's new) get burned.

People are funny to me. As you all know, I'm a pretty attentive person; I like to people-watch. I've noticed a lot of people change lately. There have been moments where I've thought I've known, but everything I understood has ended up being a complete facade; entirely artificial. Individuals have assumed an identity and have revealed their true nature only after an attachment to their good twin has been forged. That's fine I suppose- I guess some people act like that when they don't understand themselves entirely. I'm sure I've done it at some point in my life, and I'm probably not immune to it entirely myself. But isn't there a moment when we have to stop pretending? Isn't it an exhausting practice- to essentially force a change in life? Sure, it's kind of an exciting process to switch it up occasionally, but pretending that you are something that you're not seems to me like a pretty laborious task considering that, at some point in the future, you are going to have to introduce a whole new person- a person you've been hiding behind your fake personality. At that point, bridges are burned, and the whole process of getting to know people starts ALL OVER AGAIN.

Perhaps I'm not making a whole lot of sense with this talk of loving change while, at the same time, seemingly frowning upon it. I'm not necessarily disapproving of the change thing. I just think that people need to pick and choose which points in life they are going to seek for variety in. Some endeavors are just ridiculous. Just be yourself and save yourself some time to chase some fun and useful change. Don't dam yourself into a fix by pretending- that's not going to do anything but get you stuck in one spot for a length of time (not to mention tie you up into a knot that, when it comes time, will be SO hard to get out of). And as all of us crazy, spontaneous people know, change-junkies are the types that want to keep moving. They don't like to have to stand in lines or be given a wait period.

Another thing: we need to stop reaching to the past. It's a notoriously human characteristic to try and remember things. Look at all the things we have to do so: pictures, videos, journals, old keepsakes (which are junk more or less of the time)... Heck, we even hold onto people to retain memories: it's as if losing that person will take a chunk out of your life. Remembering is wonderful- I love my pictures especially. But when the past is overcoming and hindering your ability to move forward with your life, it's a sign you need to let go. Holding onto the past can lead to those great memories being a source of pain and longing, and both emotions do nothing but beg for pity and cripple your ability to be open to new experiences.

Then again, what about that attachment to a memory? What if you feel regret when you think about something? Well, if it's something you can do something about, then... wait for it... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. If you can't do anything about that regret, then simply chalk it up to experience and move on. There's no sense in dwelling on something that nothing can be done about. Frankly, it's unhealthy to allow yourself that constant glimpse into the past if that's all it's doing for you.

That's just my two cents on the subject of change- maybe some of you feel differently about it yourselves. But I'll have you all know that me accepting that the past is the past has proven to be a kindness to myself. No matter how much other people or my own thoughts/dreams have tried to pull me back into the past, I've decided that I'm moving forward despite what they want or what they do.

The Lost Boys and a Summer Full of Victory

You know how in Peter Pan, there's a band of boys that seem to always be causing mischief and running around wild and free? Well they're still around, and they live across the street from me. Yes!

We have planned MANY adventures already- cannot WAIT. These guys are my cup of Joe- they never turn down an opportunity to create havoc and tear up the town! Not to mention that my BEST friend in the ENTIRE galaxy is in on the fun too-in fact, she essentially CREATED the fun in the first place. Love you Jessi :)

In other news, I am just SO utterly excited for summer. Me and the ladies are FINALLY signing for our lovely new apartment tomorrow, and with the move comes some exciting changes. The apt is HUGE, and the three of us are going to have a ton of fun living together during the summer. I love my roomies!!! They are just the absolute greatest.

It's getting warmer!!! I was wearing my favorite shorts and just hanging out on the dock at the lake the other day with Jessica. That was absolute bliss- I can't wait to do that on a regular basis. And you know what? There are no ties, no limits, and no rules (except the wonderful honor code of course haha). There is only freedom, sun, and fun... and lots of Living Scripture videos to keep us all laughing!!!

Well this has been short and pointless, but I figured I should probably write at least something today. Now I'm off to bed! If I have any other crazy dreams, I will be sure to let ya'll know. Until then, keep it classy ;)

The Most Epic Dream EVER.

It has been an absolutely awesome weekend!!!! I am pleased to inform you all that my ankle is slowly recovering, and I will be back on the treadmill within the week!!! :D

In other news, I had another crazy dream last night... I was in a video game, and the object of the level I was on in the game was to give out Book of Mormons and spread the gospel throughout an airport. However, there were secret tunnels and frightening passages with terrible beasts everywhere trying to stop me from doing so. I got to the end boss, which was actually three different creatures: they were these giant, morphed turtles that were more like massive dinosaurs. 

The Evil Turtles!!!!

My first thought- let's avoid these suckers... But I realized that, although I could get through them and to the door across the room, I had overlooked one thing: THEIR MASTER!!!!!! Dun dun dun!!!!! Even with my sword and shield and my SWEET hero's outfit, I couldn't withstand the awesome power of an OLD MAN WITH A BAT!!!!!!!! This old guy started swearing at and chasing me across the level- I couldn't lose the dude! Terrified, I tried to find any passageway that was not locked with a chain (I had taken some shortcuts and therefore had not gotten all the keys to all of the rooms- I mean... some of the rooms just have rupees in them... and who needs money from a treasure chest when it's common knowledge that beating the boss fills your wallet ENTIRELY?). Before I knew it, I was all the way back at the beginning of the airport-maze level. So I restarted the level knowing that all my progress was ruined...

I tried again, beginning at the street level. In order to get into the airport, you had to take this terrible detour due to a ton of construction. The first time, I suffered through the traffic. But no!!! I was not going to be delayed by the state again!! Time was of the essence!!! I found an illegal entrance, covered by cones and "Do Not Enter" signs. But hey- somehow I managed to slip through unnoticed. I tiptoed through the barren area and found a trailer full of people (For some reason, I needed to go through here to get inside the airport, so I did). It was strange, because it was like an office inside, and I happened to know that every single one of them were Georgian Baptists. ZZZZIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGG!!!! Book of Mormon Time!!!!!! 

From my non-existent bag, I pulled out a bunch of Books of Mormon/Book of Mormons and started attempting the hand them out... epic fail. Them Baptists kicked me out and told me to NEVER come back!!! They even alerted security that I was there, which meant that my journey into the airport was going to be trickier than before. Shoot Gina... I was in trouble...

Yet suddenly, I was back at the end boss! I had gotten a cheat from God and had jumped straight the to the end for my efforts in the hidden trailer. Yeah! Alright!!! This time, I was going to BEAT those turtles and get to the prize room. I headed straight to the turtles prepared to destroy them ALL!!! The old man would probably be devastated once his prized beasts were dead- so devastated and horrified that he would surrender his bat and grant me entrance to the prize room where I would surely warp out and move on to the next level. Instead, another surprise awaited me. The old man, instead of chasing me, spoke....

"I'll offer you a deal," said he from across the room. At his word, the turtle creatures retreated to the water. Startled, I lowered my sword and allowed him to continue. "I'm listening, " I replied in a wary tone. What happened next was a monologue that, upon waking up, would make me laugh for hours.

He began, and the camera panned like it does in a movie scene on a video game: Epic. Slow. Dramatic. "Magnificent creatures aren't they? They listen to my every word. If I tell them to kill, they kill. If I tell them to retreat, they retreat. But I am not their owner." "What?" I gasped, startled. "What are you then?" "I'm the gatekeeper; the caretaker of these rare beauties. The airport owns them- they use them as an attraction the bring this airport location traffic and revenue." I looked around, and as I did so, I noticed that, indeed,  hundreds of people had their faces pressed to the glass a few hundred feet away, just outside of the aquarium-like enclosure. I realized then that the state was in on everything- they were ALL the bad guys!!!! These poor civilians had no IDEA that they were falling straight into a trap by flying with them. "Go on, " I said, waiting for the point.

He cleared his throat, then coaxed me to come closer so he could whisper. I did so. "Do you know how much these animals are worth?" I shook my head. "15 million a piece," he said smiling, "Do you understand what that means?" I shook my head again. He looked around suspiciously, then continued. "Here in the states, you can't sell these things and get away with it. You need a more... blurred market if you get my drift. One word. Africa." "Ok... so....?" I asked, still confused. He went on, "I've got a buyer in Swaziland that has offered me 7 million in cash per turtle if I can transport them to him in two days time. It's less than half of what their worth, but to have the cash in hand by the weekend is enough to motivate me. That means I've gotta get them out of here and fast, and it's gotta be without the airport guard finding out. If you can help me do it using your skills with the sword and shield, I'll give you the key to the door. Heck- blow the place up for all I care! Just get me and my babies outa here and you've got whatever you want."

I thought about his offer. "What if I don't help you?" I asked curiously. He shrugged, "I kill you and let my treasured monsters suck you dry and bury you in a watery grave." "Huh..." I pondered. Tempting offer. Of course, I was positive I could destroy them all with my magical abilities, God's constant 1UPs, and my incredible agility and swordsmanship, but now I was in the middle of deciding who was the bad guy here. On one hand, this dude was a renegade- no morals and a thirst for power with the ability to cause some major destruction. On the other hand, the airport people were pretty bad people too- I mean, they're the ones that bought these demons for the sake of profit and pure evil... So by setting this guy free, I would hurt the airport and take down their greatest security without even risking a hair on my head. But then he would be free with an unimaginable force out in Africa- and surely the man offering the money was up to no good- why else would he want these... things? But if I knew about it now and knew where exactly this old fool was taking them exactly, it could extend my journey to Africa- I could end up discovering more secret combinations and save this favored land- Nay, the WORLD- from the greatest tragedy of all time!!!!

"Ok," I shrugged. "Gooooooood. Gooooooooooooood," he said. We embarked.

Turns out, there was no resistance at all... A plane was waiting in a secret carrier, and we transported the fiends and their master to the aircraft seamlessly. "Well... that was easy. Here's your key." He threw the key at me and flew away. "We shall meet again, Old Man...We shall meet again." I said, clutching the key dramatically, the sound of leather bending and stretching all the while.

I rushed back to the room, and everyone was gone. The people were no longer pressing their faces to the glass. In fact, upon my re-entrance into the room, the alarms went off. The airport was on high alert!!! Everyone was evacuated except the airport goons and me. I had to move... and fast. Making my way across the room, I unlocked the door and entered, the blackness within making the loud *THUD* of the iron door sound even louder. Then, the warp zone appeared, glimmering and making the heavenly "Laaaaaaaaaaaa" sounds of angels (like all warp zones do). I ran to it and, just as I was being transported out, the guards entered and yelled, "No!!!!!!!" The scene faded.

Movie moment. I was lifted high above the airport and saw it explode in slow motion, the flames spitting shrapnel and construction cones high into the air. I covered my face to protect from the heat. Then... the victory music!!!! Another day saved!!!! 

♫♫♫Dun dunnah nuh!!!!! Nuh nuh nuh Dun nunnah!!!! Dun dunnah nuh!!! Dunnuh nuh nuuuuuuhhhh!!!!!♫♫♫

However, I knew that this war was not over. There were other lands to be visited, more Books of Mormon/Book of Mormons to give out, and more gospel to be heard. Most importantly, there were more evil humans out there trying to brainwash their fellow inhabitants and take over the world, which meant my job was far from done. Onto the next level!!!! Blackout.

And then I woke up... Hahahahahaha. Good story huh? I thought so. Well... Now you know how twisted my dreams are. Hope it was entertaining!!!!!

Until next time everyone. Come Lonestar- WE DANCE! ;) Peace out!

The Record Still Holds!!!! ... Oh my gosh I'm lucky... :S

So I didn't post yesterday for the first time in... what... a month? Yikes. Sorry about that. It was a crazy day haha.

So I went snowboarding yesterday and got into a scary accident. I had never hit a tree before... but I did yesterday. Needless to say, the tree won the battle. Here's how it went down.

For those of you that have seen be board, I LOVE to go fast, and I'm not deterred by jumps, cliffs, or hidden trails. This time around, I was doing all three at once; I headed into a tree trail back in the back mountain on a black diamond run. It was a longer tree trail, so I was in there a ways. I was cruising along, hitting a few small jumps on the way and listening to Skillet (of course) as I went along. Suddenly, a little jump came along, I aced it, and the trail made a very sharp turn. I followed it, but I knew I was going to fast to recover from the quick change in direction. Just my luck- the trail THEN split into two, and right square in the middle, there was a huge pine tree with massive, sharp branches sticking out of the trunk. Wanting to avoid being impaled, I went heel-up in an attempt to stop before reaching the tree. Yah... no chance there. I hit it.

Not only did I hit the tree, I hit it HARD. I hit is so hard that my feet were stuck in an extreme dorsiflexion position and I couldn't even move the board to relieve my sudden, shocking pain. I was sure I had broken my right foot since it was in such an unnatural position- I mean... I should at LEAST have had a stress fracture. It was bad. After screaming profanity for about 10 minutes, I got the courage to try and move the foot by undoing the boot from the board. No luck. The snow I was stuck in was ice, and half of the board was buried beneath it. So I ended up having to lay back, take a huge breath and heave my board up. It hurt like... yah... you know what I'm talking about. But I finally got the board out.

I could feel my foot immediately swelling in the boot, but I was stuck in the mountains... I had to get down right? So I sucked it up, tightened my boot to hold it together in case I'd broken something, and got out of the trees and back onto the slope.

I made it to the bottom, and somehow managed to pull my foot out from the boot. It was ugly; It was already pretty swollen, and the color was starting to change. Gross. I tried to ice it with a snowball I made, but it was swollen to the point where I couldn't feel a whole lot, so I gave up on the endeavor. My brothers didn't really know what to do, so they just sat there as I shoved my massive foot back into my boot.

So what happened at that point? I did something stupid- very stupid. I decided that the foot was supported enough in the boot to make it, so I kept snowboarding. Krissy... of all the stupid things to do... My thought was "What's the worst that could happen?" But of COURSE the worst that could happen was REALLY breaking the stupid thing by inducing a stress fracture... I was lucky... I still did jumps (smaller ones though) and quick carving like an idiot... An hour later, I got into the car, took my boot off, and was horrified by the amount of swelling and the shocking amount of pain that suddenly came over me. The ride home was... horrible haha. I got home and ALMOST felt the need to go to the hospital, but after about an hour, the swelling slowed down and the pain stopped shooting up to my knee.

So the moral of this story? Be smart- don't snowboard on an injury like that... you'll regret it! Haha I never seem to figure out my limits... first, I get serious frostbite from boarding too long, then I almost break my foot... This season has been pretty eventful. But good news!!!!!! My record still holds- I STILL have never broken a bone!!!! Let's keep it that way :)

Things that make me happy :)

Last night was an important night for me. I was obviously unhappy based on my last post. But after a little pep talk from an old friend of mine, I realized that I was boo-hooing about my life, and I have a lot of other things to be happy about. 

I saw the FUNNIEST thing today. Suzie was feeling like Red Mango, so we headed up there to grab us some frozen Yogurt. Upon leaving, we saw some punk on a SKATEBOARD carrying a Victoria Secret Bag!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! It was so trashy that I HAD to take a picture. Feast your eyes!

Isn't that funny??? Ok... Maybe I thought it was funnier than it actually is... But it brought some humor into the day.

Another thing that I loved was last night's Sunset. Here's a picture of it. It was truly beautiful.

I have mentioned how much I like country music. I found a song that I absolutely LOVE!!!! It's called "You Lie" by The Band Perry. The music video is great! It's funny :) A few others are Katie Armiger's "Best Song Ever," "Come Back Song" by Darius Rucker, and "Something to do with your hands." By Sara Darling

I am just going to name a few things that make me happy. A friend of mine did this himself, and I really was inspired by it.

My family 

My friends

The Church

Sunny Days

Rainy Days

The elderly

Country Music

Eminem

Chris Brown

Skillet

Ke$ha

Enrique Iglesias

Taylor Swift (I actually like her... I lie about that all the time haha)

Reba

Kenny Chesney

Luke Brian

Darius Rucker

The Band Perry

Josh Gracin

Keith Urban

Tim McGraw

Brad Paisley

Lady Antebellum

Sugarland

Rodney Atkins

Katie Armiger

Carrie Underwood

The Afters

Guitars

Singing

Pianos

Pickup Trucks

Bullet Bikes

Mountains

Waterfalls

Kraft Singles commercials

Little Kids

Dogs

Horses

Trale Lewous

Golden Girls

Betty White

Rodeos

Summer

Snowboarding

Frozen Yogurt

Mangoes 

BSU football

Man Muscles

Traveling

Action Movies

Farmer Tans

The feel of sand underneath my toes

The salty smell of the ocean

Empty houses

Forests

Pictures

Unexpected combinations that turn out good

People who are still madly in love after 50 years

Tennessee

Painting stuff

Teasing

Hearing someone's real laugh

Hawaiian food

Polynesian people

Aviator glasses

The feeling of taking off in a plane

Rolling wheat fields

Red Rock

Hidden bodies of water

Rope Swings

"500 Days of Summer"

Manual transmissions

FREE

Netflicks

"Psych"

Chocolate

Red and Black- Together!

Fishing and then setting the fish free

Old buildings

Art Galleries

Boats

Sunsets

Late nights

Fresh starts

Bridges

Flip flips

Plaid Shirts

Driving down the road with the windows down

Double takes

Fortune Cookies

Pregnant ladies

Jellybeans

Go Karts

Zelda cartoons

Zelda video games

There are a million more things, but this is a pretty good list!!!! Find things to be grateful for every single day :)

Sunrise

The sun was out today. That was good :)

I'd just like to make a note to all my readers: Thanks for all your comments!! I didn't realize so many people read my blog. I don't really consider myself a super awesome writer, but I feel like a professional when I hear how much people are enjoying my stuff! Hopefully I can continue to pull out some interesting information to share with you all :)

So what'll it be today, Kris? Well, I was thinking about some things yesterday as I was in mourning about... well... I'm not exactly sure... I could pinpoint parts of it, but the entire thing still is confusing me (it's not gone- I was still pretty sad today, but I'm feeling better than yesterday for sure). But anyway, I was thinking, and I started pondering on the thought of happiness.

I've always said that happiness is a choice, but I also know that people in the gulf of misery and woe spit upon that idea. It's true: happiness is a choice, but I recognize that sometimes, things get placed in your life that seriously hinder your ability to see the light, just like a giant brick wall or a layer of soot. That's where hope comes in though- that's where faith should take place. You're not always going to have the ability to be totally happy- that's a misconception. Take it from one who deals with a constant wave of depression; true happiness is really hard to reach, and I don't find it every day. But one thing that I have learned to retain is a burning hope. That brings me a measure of happiness. Hope for a better tomorrow is what keeps me going. Who cares if that tomorrow isn't where I actually do find happiness? Hoping for it makes that small moment bearable.

You know, you don't have to look for the ultimate level of happiness every day. Sometimes, just finding the little things- the tender mercies- in your life is enough day by day. You need to find those first to even hope to reach the goal of ultimate happiness. For me, it's the small moments that make my day worthwhile. Such moments include going to the gym and working my butt off, snuggling with my dog, and laughing uncontrollably at a joke that directly appeals to my twisted sense of humor.  That's really what you have to do, especially when things are tough.

I've known bliss and feeling complete. I've totally been there. I know that eventually I'm going to feel that way again. So to all of you that are wondering if that stuff really exists, it does. I promise. I know it's hard to see in the moment- heck, I struggle to see the light lately too- but when you've felt that insane level of joy and ultimate happiness once, you know exactly what to look for. In fact, you can start to see things in more of a black and white kind of way. The gray stuff doesn't really appeal to you after a while. It can only get better once you hit rock bottom right? :)

I cannot wait for tomorrow!!!!! Institute at 7:00. Yes. I love that relationship class- it's perfect for me right now. See? Another joy! Another thing to look forward to. There's nothing like the gospel to make your life worth it all. Isn't it great we have that to lean on and look to for support? I'm sure glad. Goodnight everyone!!! Look for the small things, hope for the big things, and know that something wonderful is coming for each one of us in our lives. Open your eyes and recognize your little blessings. Sometimes, the big things are hidden right in front of you, so be open to everything, no matter how hard. And most importantly (in my opinion), learn to laugh always! :)

Horror Vacui

Horror Vacui is an Italian term used in describing a particular style of art. Used primarily in the Medieval era, this style could be simplistically described as "fear of open space." Art of this delineation  is detailed, exquisite, busy, and oftentimes gaudy.

Now to relate this fun fact to real life. Yesterday I went home, feeling a lot of things weighing on my mind, and decided that the last thing I wanted to do was make a meal for myself. Knowing full well that I hadn't eaten anything since the previous day's lunch, I decided that I would compromise: I was eating out. After contemplating for at least 30 minutes as to where I would go (I am possibly the least decisive person when it comes to food. I just eat because I am required to live... I would love it if I didn't have to decide what to comsume every day...), I decided to get off my butt and figure out what to eat on the way to the food plaza down the road. I chose Panda Express (ugh... why? I don't know... Maybe because I was FAMISHED, and it was the first one that came into my vision... I regretted the choice later. Trust me).

Upon walking inside, I saw the long waiting line, thought seriously about leaving, then proceeded to take my place in the Chinese frenzy as customer #1,000,000. Before too long, a cute little couple and their grandson came in behind me. Me being there alone only made it that much easier to listen in on their conversation. The sweet little granny kept talking about how they were in a hurry and needed to "not waste any time," so that they got to some event before it started. I had to chuckle as I heard her dear husband say something to the effect of, "We have over an hour- don't worry about it." Isn't that just the way? It reminded me of how my grandma sounds when she is thinking of getting somewhere on time. It also reminded me of how I am bound to be when I am old and gray like that.

As we inched forward in the dinner line, I began to notice a strange, and somewhat annoying pattern. When I moved forward even a tiny bit, the grandmother would do the same, often times allowing her large purse to touch me due to how close she was. When we got our trays as is tradition at Panda Express, I leaned my hand on the marble counter top, and her tray always scooted until it was touching my hand. I experimented a few times, not moving my body, just my hand. Sure enough, the tray moved and closed off the space. As I looked around the room, I recognized that everyone was doing that- the trays were very very close to the following person. The people squished themselves in as if they would get served quicker if there was no open space.

I find that interesting, because this doesn't only happen in fast food restaurants; it happens everywhere you look in every situation. Think about cars- even when you are at a stop light, having too much open space makes people honk and despair. Yet there you are! You're stopped! Moving forward in that moment will not make you progress at all- you're sitting there motionless, but still people insist on enjoying that closeness.

Now let's turn to human nature as we always do in my philosophical little blog. People are afraid of open space. They need proximity, whether that be physically being near someone or emotionally. Sure- we all have our bubbles, but in reality, I can honestly state with confidence that there is not one person in this world that truly wants to be alone. No one wants to have an empty space in their heart that they are supposed to fill by themselves. In fact, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't hear someone talk about this "empty hole" that needs to be filled somehow. True, I live in a college environment in Provo, Utah, where LDS kids are getting ready to find a companion, but beyond that, it stands the same. Every movie I've ever seen involves some sort of human relationship, even with people who are "rogues" or "renegades." There's always a relationship between human beings. Why is this? Because people relate to that yearning. People need people to survive. They need other humans to relate to, to vent to, to laugh with, and to simply hang around with. Interesting.

What scares us the most? Open space: having an unknown, empty spot in our hearts. It has to be filled somehow or we freak out. That's a good thing- we really do need other people for that. It's interesting that the "hole" we so often speak of is always filled by another human being. We can never fill it ourselves, and we can never hope to enjoy true contentment without that hole being gone.


So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Horror Vacui is more than just an Italian art term. Sounds like it's a reflection of the human mind- We are afraid of Open Space.

Skillet :)

May I just say that I LOVE Skillet so desperately?? I became interested in the looks of the band: I mean... typically bands with their sound are... how do you say... BUTT ugly... But may I show ya'll a picture of these good people? Too bad if you don't want to... this is my blog, and I get to do exactly what I want :)

So not too bad yah? That's what I thought!!!! I'm quite pleased. But beyond the point that the lead singer is extremely attractive, the music is da bomb. In the semi-verbatim words of Trale Lewous, "Skillet is.... really good. You know what the best part about Skillet is? You can listen to it at any time of the day... Breakfast time, Lunch Time... SNACKS."

When I need a pick-me-up, Skillet is what I listen to. (umm.... did I just see a guy walk past me in a KILT? Anyway... back to my point...). When I need to punch-dance my rage out, I listen to Skillet. When I'm driving to work on the freeway with my window rolled down, I listen to... wait for it... Skillet. Ah! There's something so exhilarating about it you know???

Oddly enough, I ADORE country music. As you can see by my current playlist on my blogger, I am a huge fan of Lady Antebellum. Little known fact about Krissy: I love 90's country SO much: George Strait, John Michael Montgomery, Garth Brooks, Allison Kraus, Jo Dee Messina, Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Alan Jackson, Clint Black. Just to name a few. I'll also listen to them when I'm needing some happy. But you know... Skillet is just... always good. It always remedies everything. 

I know! I should be saying that when I listen to the MOTAB, I feel better. I do I do- I promise! But honestly? I can't listen to that stuff every second of the day... I don't think many people can. So I go to the other extreme... Skillet. Haha that's actually really funny... 

So today's Skillet song for all your enjoyment. I present: SKILLET: Never Surrender!!!! (It's the one that has been on repeat today- No particular reason- just awesome :) )

Do you know what it's like when
You're scared to see yourself?
Do you know what it's like when
You wish you were someone else
Who didn't need your help to get by?

Do you know what it's like
To wanna surrender?

I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better, I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender
Never surrender

Do you know what it's like when
You're not who you wanna be?
Do you know what it's like to
Be your own worst enemy
Who sees the things in me I can't hide?

Do you know what it's like
To wanna surrender?
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/never-surrender-lyrics.html ]

I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better, I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender

Make me feel better, you make me feel better
You make me feel better, put me back together

I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better, I need to feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender

Put me back together
Never surrender, make me feel better
You make me feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender

Ok... So this blog really didn't have to do with anything at all... So maybe I should leave ya'll with a wholesome thought... haha. So you know how Skillet is pretty much screaming out to the world to never surrender? Well... don't. :)

That's...a.... about all I got right now... haha. So heck- JUST LISTEN TO SKILLET!!!!!!!!!!! OW OW OW!

PSYCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night was a great night. I'm so grateful for the Lord's hand in my life. So grateful :)

I headed to an Institute class with a friend of mine last night. Dating and Courtship. Yikes. I didn't know that's what it was until I got there, but I was a little nervous walking in to be honest. I've been avoiding that class for almost a year now, and knowing that I was walking into it unarmed was a little frightening haha. I prepared for the, "Sooooooo when are you getting married girl?" But surprisingly, I didn't feel cornered. I didn't feel weird. I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Talk about cool.

The class was all about "Dating Filters," the means by which you choose your eternal lover. Filter #1- decide if they are worth your time: do they at least have the same interests? Filter #2- Is this person someone with the same values? If so, date them and only them. Filter #3- Is this someone you could see yourself being with forever? This is the courtship filter- super serious. Filter #4- ready for marriage? Do it. It was a pretty simple model, and it totally blew me out of the water.

Another thing we really worked at during class was the "choice" factor. Basically, God will NOT tell you to marry or not to marry someone. You choose, THEN you ask. If he says yes, then STICK TO IT. Satan's goal at that point is to place doubt in your mind. So that's how it's done. You become the one once you CHOOSE to be the one for each other. That's what makes you irreplaceable: choice. I found that to be quite profound. The Ultimate Choice. Talk about scary idea... But you LOVE YOUR CHOICE because YOU CHOSE. Those words rang true in my mind right then and there. Whoa. Talk about a bucket of cold water being dumped on my head. I woke up right then and there.

What an interesting concept- Life is totally about choices, but a good number of those choices are meant to lead up to THE choice. That's a bit intimidating. But if you are practiced and experienced with accepting His answers, the choice won't be as hard as you think. That's why it's important to be obedient and receptive in the small things: it's all leading up to the big M. That confirmation will be so in your face that you won't be able to deny it. How cool is that?

So what was my conclusion? Awesome class and PSYCH!!!!!! You thought you had it figured out, Krissy, and you DIDN'T!!! Haha I still don't have it all figured out, but I feel like I have an incredible foundation for my life from here. I feel a return to old values and morals!!!!! I'm heading out to the world again MJ!!!! No worries :) I'm not giving up.

Eyes

Ya know, there's something about eyes. Everybody knows that there is, but it's actually kind of a subject that is avoided. What is it about eyes that makes everyone so nervous?

I offer an example here. Today on the bus, I got on, popped in my ipod, and wondered where the HECK to look. If I looked towards the front out windshield view, the girl next to me would think I was looking at her and look back at me and scowl. If I looked straight ahead, the guy across from me would either think there was something on his shirt or that I wanted to talk to him. So what did I do? I looked straight at the ground. No eyes to meet. No expectations. No awkward moments. Also so boring...

You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're walking on the street and you see someone you know. A lot of times, you'll look away to avoid a conversation. You're walking in the mall, and you hate looking at the sales associates. Eyes and the meeting thereof is universally awkward. But why? Why are the eyes such an intense body part? Why is it that we are so selective about whose eyes we meet up with?

It's even more compelling when you think about how eyes play into a relationship. Think about it: what is the #1 cheesy line incorporated in any movie or song you've seen or heard? It's some rendition of, "I looked into  your eyes and I just knew" (OK... maybe not the cheesiest line necessarily, but it's cheesy OK?).  Think of it though- once one has the privilege to look into your eyes, it's a monumental step in a relationship, no matter the nature of that relationship.

 It's almost as if the eyes themselves are a liquid source of information. You want to know something? Look straight into someone's eyes. That's funny actually... How can we immediately interpret what someone is thinking and feeling by simply looking in there? It's not like all of us are experts on facial inflections and optic expression, yet it's so easy to understand and communicate through such a simple act of peering into one's pupils. Maybe that's why it's so awkward. You don't want to allow just anyone an all-access pass to your thoughts and your emotions. You want to limit the numbers who are allowed in there. You're essentially exposed.

So back to my point on relationships.  So what if you meet someone you trust enough to lock eyes with? What does that mean? 

Just using myself as an example, I have BIG eyes. In fact, a lot of times, I feel like they take up half my face. So you can imagine my own resistance to look people directly in the eyes myself. I find myself looking up and looking away a LOT when I talk to people. I can't sit and look someone continuously in the eyes because I honestly don't trust people to see that part of me. As someone once told me, "My walls have windows- they are my eyes" (I wonder if he took that from a song or something... that's kind of epic). Anyway, that's totally me. I totally feel vulnerable with people look into me like that, so I avoid it like the plague. That's honestly it though. Everyone, not just me, feel that same way. It's all in the level of exposure experienced.

I love country music AS you all know, so it's not too odd that I love Toby Keith's words when he says, "Livin' in a cruel world, pays to be a mean girl." That's how we're taught to live these days based on the current dissent from morality and decency in the world. We play games because society forces us to. But what if we decided to take a stand and trust just a little bit more. I'm not saying that we need to open up so much that we set ourselves up for getting hurt, but maybe we need to make the world a better place by being bright eyed and open to new emotional experiences. I find myself fearing pain so much that I avoid it. But you know what? Fear is not a tool used by our loving Father. It's one used by his number one enemy. That's not what we want in our lives. We want to be loved! We, by nature, want to return that love! 

So let's try a little harder to be more loving and more open :) Let's take some time to learn by looking, even when it's perhaps the hardest thing to do.

Waking up with a Smile today :)

I woke up this morning thinking about a lot of things. But first thing on my mind? Sheer happiness :) I'm in a good place. And who knew that I would get a tender mercy like this so quickly? Who knew?

It's really funny who and what is placed in your life at any given moment of your life.  I didn't really expect God to hand me really any set of cards for a bit, but it just handed me a pretty good one a couple of days ago. And it's great! I think I've reached another tier in my little pit- I'm almost to the top. it's taken a little bit, but I'm actually going to get there and soon :) 

There's not a whole lot else to say except yay :) I'm a happy, happy camper today. Hopefully I can stay on top for a little bit. It's a really unexpected lift, but unexpected is usually the most enjoyable way to experience something I think. It's like I said in my "Genre Review" a few days ago; there's no point in seeing a movie if you already can predict the ending, right? Life is enjoyable because we don't have the foresight to see the end result entirely. We can get a general idea I guess, but overall, life is a learning experience because of that fact.  Life throws your curves; although it's hard to catch it and participate in the game with such a ball in play, it sure makes for an exciting event- especially when you actually manage to catch that ball and raise it triumphantly in your glove play by play. :)

Final Thoughts on Conference :)

"'He's been talking for ten minutes without a single aviation analogy...'"
"Be without Do is Hypocrisy"
"Don't waste this time being idle; get married!"
"We are not a fast-food restaurant. We cannot always have it 'Our Way.'"

"The linen which once held Him is empty.

It lies there,

Fresh and white and clean.

The door stands opened.

The stone is rolled away,

And I can almost hear the angels singing His praises.

Linen cannot hold Him.

Stone cannot hold Him.

The words echo through the empty limestone chamber,

“He is not here.”

The linen which once held Him is now empty.

It lies there,

Fresh and white and clean

And oh, hallelujah, it is empty."

What a great conference! I now have the tools I need to continue living for the next 6 months. It's been a tough couple of weeks, but the timing was kind of perfect. I might be alone, but I've got these words of comfort and the spirit of the Lord to stand beside me in my loneliness. What a blessing. May we all be more grateful, giving, and gracious in our day-to-day lives. May we be ever grateful for, not only our blessings, but for our trials. May we give until there's nothing left. May we humble ourselves and become more receptive to His words and the quiet whisperings of the spirit.

More Semi-Annual Education ;) Sunday Morning Session

Oh wow. What an amazing session. Elder Euchtdorf just totally made my day with his talk. Such an incredible blessing. Not only that, but just all the talks on trials have been so helpful.

Do you know what I've really been gaining from this conference? I've been learning to cope a little better; to endure. My gut still drops sometimes when I see things that remind me of happier times. I still tear up a little thinking about what my life would have been like and how sweet that time was and would have continued to be. But I can't get it back and that's that. Wishing that the knock will come on the door or the song will go off on the phone is simply a wish. But this is a trial- not a fairytale. It's meant to be hard. It's meant to hurt. But Jesus Christ is there for me. He understands those pains. He understands my sorrows. He's been holding me strong this whole time. What more can I ask for?

Optimism; what a word. That's a hard one to try and grasp when you are sitting at the bottom of a pit, right? It's hard to comprehend and accept that, indeed, there is a whole world of light above you; you simply don't have the perspective to see it yet. I'm inching my way up- I'm about halfway up. But there's still a long way to go, and until conference, I was starting to feel like it would be better to just stick at the bottom and camp out for the rest of my life. But I'm getting there- just gotta keep going :)

More to come! Can't wait for the next Session!!!!