Genre Review: Chick Flicks

I've always thought that chick flicks were a waste of time; in fact, most of them I avoid entirely. Tonight was yet another example of why I do that.

Chick flicks are a mind trick; their target market is sad, lonely, women and/or the reluctant male partner to that sad lonely woman. Why, might you ask, are these women drawn to and/or drag their male partners to see them? The same answer belongs to the question of why a woman does anything: to find extra values within the movie to intrinsically involve in her day-to-day life. In simpler terms, a woman believes that watching such a movie will elevate her life and inspire her to not give up.

However, if a movie within this genre actually did that, then a woman would simply be satisfied to accept the one movie's message and move on to a less predictable one. But what do we see? Every time a new romanticish movie hits the box office, millions of women flock as if they simply couldn't wait to see the ending. But you know the ending... it's one of three options: 1. Boy becomes a man and admits he was wrong, winning the girl in the end. 2. Girl lets her walls come falling down after an epic attempt to keep them firmly in place 3. The two go their separate ways after finding their real lovers in the process, both of which are happy with the change. The end. That's it. It's not that hard to guess... Judging by the tone of the music and the actors and actresses involved, you can usually figure out the ending by the end of the preview on Channel 13 over a bowl of Mac. Hey... you might even figure it out before the Mac is gone...

(That can take less than half a commercial sometimes... hard to do... but possible with sweet corn mixed in... try it sometime).

So, returning to my last point: why do women keep going? Why is one not satisfied with one generic plot? The answer is one word: reassurance. Women need reassurance. Repetition seems to be a comfort. Women think, 'Well... I'm just like Kate Hudson in this movie, this movie, and this movie; my man is conceited and I'm the tough, hot chick. If I just do this and this and this, then there are a few ways that it will end up. It will either be the ending of the Movie#1, Movie #2, or Movie #3.' Oh wait... THEY ALL END THE SAME. How do you expect your situation to turn out that way? The only reason Kate Hudson didn't lost that guy in 10 days was because the script was written that way. Sorry guys-- nothing EVER turns out like the movies...

What's more is that after the initial, "Oh my GOSH that was the CUTEST MOVIE EVERRRRRRRRR" comes the all-too-common phrase, "Why can't I have a life like that?" or, "I want a man like that!" So essentially, you're miserable again at the end of the movie. What do you do then? Well... time for the next chick flick on the movie rack.

Marketers understand this emotional response, so they jam-pack the scripts with cheesy, generic sayings, idealized living conditions, and epitomized characters- the ones that EVERY woman can somehow relate to. That's what keeps them coming back. That's sick... How disgustingly brilliant.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do enjoy an occasional chick flick, mostly the ones involving comedic meetings and brilliant quotes (such as "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"). Who doesn't occasionally reach for a light-hearted romantic comedy? However, it baffles me how many girls reach for such a movie every time that they reach for a movie. Don't you realize you are turning to MUSH? Girls girls girls! Immersing yourselves in such fantasy constantly is a poison. You get your heart a-wishing for such a romantic, and sweeping meeting and forget that such a situation is simply nonexistent. Love has been twisted into this unobtainable wish because of Hollywood has hooked us on its presentation of the word. You aren't going to be sitting in the rain, crying about your life falling apart in the middle of an abandoned alley, when suddenly a perfect-10 man is going to unexpectedly touch your hand from behind and whisper, "I love you." Nope. You may be sitting in the rain, crying about your life falling apart in the middle of an abandoned alley, and a man may come up behind you. However, that man will likely rape you. Romantic right? Yah... didn't think so. Welcome to real life people.

So, what is my point here? We need to stop relying on this idealized vision that Hollywood knows we're all going to buy into. Cute? Yes. Real? No. Let's just remember that anything we want must be worked for. It's not going to save you from a car careening out of control at the last second. It's not going to follow you and kiss you right after a huge fight. It's not going to get down on a knee and say "I know it's crazy and I've only known you for a few hours, but I love you." It certainly is not going to admit that it's a vampire and shine for you in a ray of sunlight. It's just not. It's truly laughable. Don't be tricked into thinking they exist in reality! And ladies, if you really want to see a movie, do one of two things: 1. Wait for the Dollar Theatre to get it. 2. Go to redbox in a month and rent the darn thing for a buck. That's pretty much what the idea is worth. Haha.

My suggestion? Next time you reach for a movie, try an action or suspense film. They're just... better :)