Sunrise

The sun was out today. That was good :)

I'd just like to make a note to all my readers: Thanks for all your comments!! I didn't realize so many people read my blog. I don't really consider myself a super awesome writer, but I feel like a professional when I hear how much people are enjoying my stuff! Hopefully I can continue to pull out some interesting information to share with you all :)

So what'll it be today, Kris? Well, I was thinking about some things yesterday as I was in mourning about... well... I'm not exactly sure... I could pinpoint parts of it, but the entire thing still is confusing me (it's not gone- I was still pretty sad today, but I'm feeling better than yesterday for sure). But anyway, I was thinking, and I started pondering on the thought of happiness.

I've always said that happiness is a choice, but I also know that people in the gulf of misery and woe spit upon that idea. It's true: happiness is a choice, but I recognize that sometimes, things get placed in your life that seriously hinder your ability to see the light, just like a giant brick wall or a layer of soot. That's where hope comes in though- that's where faith should take place. You're not always going to have the ability to be totally happy- that's a misconception. Take it from one who deals with a constant wave of depression; true happiness is really hard to reach, and I don't find it every day. But one thing that I have learned to retain is a burning hope. That brings me a measure of happiness. Hope for a better tomorrow is what keeps me going. Who cares if that tomorrow isn't where I actually do find happiness? Hoping for it makes that small moment bearable.

You know, you don't have to look for the ultimate level of happiness every day. Sometimes, just finding the little things- the tender mercies- in your life is enough day by day. You need to find those first to even hope to reach the goal of ultimate happiness. For me, it's the small moments that make my day worthwhile. Such moments include going to the gym and working my butt off, snuggling with my dog, and laughing uncontrollably at a joke that directly appeals to my twisted sense of humor.  That's really what you have to do, especially when things are tough.

I've known bliss and feeling complete. I've totally been there. I know that eventually I'm going to feel that way again. So to all of you that are wondering if that stuff really exists, it does. I promise. I know it's hard to see in the moment- heck, I struggle to see the light lately too- but when you've felt that insane level of joy and ultimate happiness once, you know exactly what to look for. In fact, you can start to see things in more of a black and white kind of way. The gray stuff doesn't really appeal to you after a while. It can only get better once you hit rock bottom right? :)

I cannot wait for tomorrow!!!!! Institute at 7:00. Yes. I love that relationship class- it's perfect for me right now. See? Another joy! Another thing to look forward to. There's nothing like the gospel to make your life worth it all. Isn't it great we have that to lean on and look to for support? I'm sure glad. Goodnight everyone!!! Look for the small things, hope for the big things, and know that something wonderful is coming for each one of us in our lives. Open your eyes and recognize your little blessings. Sometimes, the big things are hidden right in front of you, so be open to everything, no matter how hard. And most importantly (in my opinion), learn to laugh always! :)