Eyes

Ya know, there's something about eyes. Everybody knows that there is, but it's actually kind of a subject that is avoided. What is it about eyes that makes everyone so nervous?

I offer an example here. Today on the bus, I got on, popped in my ipod, and wondered where the HECK to look. If I looked towards the front out windshield view, the girl next to me would think I was looking at her and look back at me and scowl. If I looked straight ahead, the guy across from me would either think there was something on his shirt or that I wanted to talk to him. So what did I do? I looked straight at the ground. No eyes to meet. No expectations. No awkward moments. Also so boring...

You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're walking on the street and you see someone you know. A lot of times, you'll look away to avoid a conversation. You're walking in the mall, and you hate looking at the sales associates. Eyes and the meeting thereof is universally awkward. But why? Why are the eyes such an intense body part? Why is it that we are so selective about whose eyes we meet up with?

It's even more compelling when you think about how eyes play into a relationship. Think about it: what is the #1 cheesy line incorporated in any movie or song you've seen or heard? It's some rendition of, "I looked into  your eyes and I just knew" (OK... maybe not the cheesiest line necessarily, but it's cheesy OK?).  Think of it though- once one has the privilege to look into your eyes, it's a monumental step in a relationship, no matter the nature of that relationship.

 It's almost as if the eyes themselves are a liquid source of information. You want to know something? Look straight into someone's eyes. That's funny actually... How can we immediately interpret what someone is thinking and feeling by simply looking in there? It's not like all of us are experts on facial inflections and optic expression, yet it's so easy to understand and communicate through such a simple act of peering into one's pupils. Maybe that's why it's so awkward. You don't want to allow just anyone an all-access pass to your thoughts and your emotions. You want to limit the numbers who are allowed in there. You're essentially exposed.

So back to my point on relationships.  So what if you meet someone you trust enough to lock eyes with? What does that mean? 

Just using myself as an example, I have BIG eyes. In fact, a lot of times, I feel like they take up half my face. So you can imagine my own resistance to look people directly in the eyes myself. I find myself looking up and looking away a LOT when I talk to people. I can't sit and look someone continuously in the eyes because I honestly don't trust people to see that part of me. As someone once told me, "My walls have windows- they are my eyes" (I wonder if he took that from a song or something... that's kind of epic). Anyway, that's totally me. I totally feel vulnerable with people look into me like that, so I avoid it like the plague. That's honestly it though. Everyone, not just me, feel that same way. It's all in the level of exposure experienced.

I love country music AS you all know, so it's not too odd that I love Toby Keith's words when he says, "Livin' in a cruel world, pays to be a mean girl." That's how we're taught to live these days based on the current dissent from morality and decency in the world. We play games because society forces us to. But what if we decided to take a stand and trust just a little bit more. I'm not saying that we need to open up so much that we set ourselves up for getting hurt, but maybe we need to make the world a better place by being bright eyed and open to new emotional experiences. I find myself fearing pain so much that I avoid it. But you know what? Fear is not a tool used by our loving Father. It's one used by his number one enemy. That's not what we want in our lives. We want to be loved! We, by nature, want to return that love! 

So let's try a little harder to be more loving and more open :) Let's take some time to learn by looking, even when it's perhaps the hardest thing to do.